Meet GeekyRed04!

 This month we had a chance to talk with GeekyRed04 about how she got into kink, why she runs events, and what gets her hot!

Q: How did you first realize you were kinky?

GEEKYRED04: I don’t really have an interesting story behind that. I just realized when I was looking for porn to watch and kept looking for something that appealed to me. I was looking for something a bit harder than your average porn, and discovered Kink.com. I didn’t really think that kink existed that way outside of porn though! Actually getting involved in kink is all my Sir’s fault! We met through a vanilla dating site, and his profile vaguely alluded to some kinkiness. I was intrigued and started asking questions. If he’d started off by just saying, “Hey! I run events where people run around naked and play with each other”, I’d probably not have gone any further. Instead, we just started talking about what we were looking for and what personality types we had. Basically, he lured me in and I have Stockholm Syndrome. (Kidding!) Getting into kink with someone who was already experienced and part of the community was a fortunate thing for me.

Q: Did you know how you identified right away?

GEEKYRED04: I don’t really identify as being 100% submissive in life. I have a really strong personality and a drive to be on top in my work life. I sort of have to switch hats when I get home, and that can be difficult. I find that the 1950’s housewife seems to be a better description of me than say a BDSM slave. I’m happiest when I’ve cooked dinner, served it to my Sir, and he’s got a drink in hand and clean boots on his feet.  I submit to him, not because I am thoroughly submissive, but because I feel he is worth submitting to.  

Q: How did it feel to turn fantasy into reality the first time you played?

GEEKYRED04: The first time I had a ‘fantasy worthy’ scene, I was actually terrified out of my mind leading up to it. We had discussed things quite a bit, and my Sir had mentioned that he planned to push me out of my comfort zone slightly. We were playing publicly, and it was our first time together on actual bondage equipment. I was kind of anxious, and shaking in my cuffs. As the scene progressed I started to feel very connected to him even though I was blindfolded and couldn’t actually see him. All of my other senses kicked into overdrive and I was able to forget that anyone else beside of the two of us was there. Soon we were playing harder than we had before and I was lost in the moment, enjoying it all. Over the next few hours and days I started to experience sub drop, and that was something that the porn fantasy never made me aware of. Even though he had explained what that was and was giving tips for how we could deal with it, it felt like it was totally without context for me. We prepared as much as we could by having a blanket, food, water, things that would comfort me…but I wasn’t able to really rationalize everything in my head and that was difficult for me. One of the things he suggested was actually reaching out to someone else that had experienced it…another submissive. At that point I hadn’t really made any friends in the kink community yet, but when I did reach out, it was to a friend of his that he knew would be able to give sound advice and who could help me sort my thoughts out. I had only met this woman (Shadow-girl) a handful of times, but here she was showing me sympathy, and even showing that she cared about me to the point of inviting me into her home and being willing to talk with me about the way I was feeling. He and I had spoken about most of my feelings (mostly sadness, and feeling like maybe kink wasn’t something I was cut out for), but it was an amazing relief to know she had felt something similar herself after playing. It put things into perspective a bit for me. Sometimes you just need someone other than your dominant to give you that outside perspective. I think that’s part of why I’ve decided to get involved in running the community events we’re involved in.

Q: Why do you help run the TNG and Phoenix Niagara munches as well as Hellfire Club?

GEEKYRED04: I’ve seen what the TNG group breeds, and I’m very proud to be a part of it. Young people come in scared and unsure of what to expect, and we have this amazing opportunity to help them become comfortable, both within their own skin, and within this group of kinksters. It goes further than that though, because we don’t want them to just stay engaged with the TNG group. We want them to spread their wings and explore the entire kink community, and before long they’re having a ton of fun at the play parties and making great friends in the larger community.

I enjoy running the parties because it’s great to see the community flourishing at them. It’s a TON of work for us, and actually very draining. Believe it or not, we spend a huge amount of time, and effort trying to make our events the best we can, and it can really cause some contention between us at times.  However, when we hear people talk about how much fun they had, and how they experienced something new and broke new personal ground it’s rewarding and totally worth all the blood, sweat, and literal tears. For myself, being a part of the community and attending munches and parties has been great for developing friendships. I’ve actually struggled with finding worthwhile female friends my entire life, and suddenly I have a bunch of like-minded women who support me, rather than tear me down. That has really helped me build a more positive body image too, which is one of the biggest things that has changed for me since entering the community.

Q: What is your best trait?

GEEKYRED04: My sense of humour. I’m frikkin’ hilarious. Just kidding. See what I did there!?

Q: Is there a fetish you are drawn to most? What’s your biggest turn on?

GEEKYRED04: That’s difficult…I like so many! One of the things I really enjoy is boot blacking and rough boot play. Now that we’re going to be living together I can see us creating a routine and fitting that into our dynamic. I enjoy the domestic service aspect of it, and knowing that I’m pleasing my Sir. It also gives me time to collect myself and get deeper into my submissive mindset when I get home. I enjoy the impact of a boot on my skin over the sting of a cane, so when he starts grinding his boots into me I just find it very hot. I like feeling like I’m under him (in many ways :P), and I enjoy being able to run my hands over my skin the next day and be able to feel every tread.

 Q: What is the most important thing that you’ve learned since beginning to explore kink?

GEEKYRED04: Without communication everything will crumble. You need to have an ongoing dialogue, otherwise you’ll find you’re both out of touch. It’s not enough to just talk about something once. I really enjoyed the BDSM checklist that we did, because it got us rethinking things we’d forgotten about and maybe even opened me up to things I was closed about previously. A lot of things have changed since we started our relationship, and revisiting our thoughts on things from time to time has been what really helps to move our relationship along.